By Ella Fried

            When we think of religion, the general inclination is to search for answers-for the comfort of having a set of beliefs to rely on, a community to lean on, values and rules to live by. We yearn for certainty and for a place to come back to when nothing else seems to make sensethis is a wonderful aspect of religion, including Judaism. But what happens when the pages we hold so dearly aren't always right? What if something we've believed in forever isn't true? What if we have questions, and we can't always find answers?

            When I was five years old, I asked my parents, "What's the difference between G-d and the environment?" I quickly concluded that: "G-d inside, and the environment is outside," and I moved on to another topic of thought. While I don't think in the same way that I did when I was five, I'm still pondering similar questions: Whoor whatis G-d? What does G-d have to do with being Jewish? But now I'm not so quick to come up with answers to these questions. The more I think about life and Judaism, the more questions I haveand the fewer answers there seem to be.

            Often times, religion is portrayed as conforming to a common set of beliefs, standards, or dogmas. That is what I expected when I walked into my confirmation class; I expected the Rabbis to teach us what Judaism is, and tell us who we were supposed to be. But instead, they asked us. Rabbi Jen Lader held a Torah in her hand, and looked at each of us in the room with thoughtful, interested eyes, as she spoke three words: "What is this?" At first, it seemed simple. Obviously, she was holding a Torah. Then someone spoke up: "It has lots of stories and commandments to follow." Someone else added, "It's an article that can be used as a primary source for how people lived in the past. Oh, and by the way, I'm an atheist." Woah. I started to think, why do we base our whole lives off one book? I said, "I think the Torah is a collection of stories to learn from, and it also represents the Jewish community."

            The discussion continued, each of us adding thoughts as they came to our minds. Questions led to more questions, like, "How long ago was the Torah written?" and "Why does the Torah have to be made out of all animal parts?" Instead of defining Judaism, the Rabbis asked us what it meant to us. Instead of spelling out what we should believe, they asked questions that sparked thoughts in our minds. Not only did we examine our own thoughts and beliefs, but we asked each other deep questions to get to know the other person beyond the surface. Questions led to compassion, wonder, and yearning to learn more.

            The next question the Rabbis asked was: "What does confirmation mean?"

            "Conforming to what this Temple thinks Judaism should be," someone offered. Rabbi Jen interjected and explained that Judaism isn't defined by a set of requirements, rules, or dogmas that everyone has to follow. She suggested that confirmation doesn't have to mean conforming to someone else's way of being Jewish; it means exploring one's own connection to Judaism. There was a thoughtful silence that followed after she spoke, and I wondered, what is Judaism? Is there one common thread that connects all Jewish people?

            As I examine how I relate to Judaism and G-d, these are some questions that come to mind: If G-d is perfect, and each of us is made in the image of G-d, does that mean we, too, are perfect? By 'perfect,' I do not mean that each of us is flawless; rather, each of us is exactly who we are meant to be. The concept of B'tzelem Elohim has helped me make sense of and embrace my identity as a gay Jewish woman and also celebrate diversity in others. Another question that has shaped my connection to Judaism is if G-d is one, and each of us is made in the image of G-d, does that mean we are one? To me, this notion of a unified yet diverse society is the essence of Judaism.

            Questions have also fueled my connection with Judaism through Tikkun Olam because questioning society can lead to positive change in the world. When we ask questions like Why are things the way they are? And How can I challenge biases in myself and others? we open up doors to having conversations and standing up for what is right. Without questions, there can be no change; we are forever confined to the same ways of life.

            When we question, we are granted the freedom to explore our identity and beliefs, learn about others, and challenge injustice. Questions may lead to answers or new solutions that had not previously been considered, or they may not lead to answers at all; they may lead to new questionsand that is okay! Embracing the uncertainty of questions, whether or not we find definitive answers enables us to move forward, to learn, and to grow as a community. Judaism is embracing the traditions that bring the community together and questioning societal norms. It is the familiar people, places, and stories, but also challenging ourselves to think in different ways. Judaism is not about conforming; Judaism is questioning.